1) Listen. Listening is the number one step in dealing with "unreasonable" people. Everyone wants to feel heard. No progress is can take place until the other person feels acknowledged. While listening focus on what the person is saying and not what your next words will be.
2) Stay calm. It is hard to stay calm when they are attacking you but remember to say calm.
Make to sure to breathe.
3) Don't judge. You do not know what the person is going through so they are must likely feeling
some type of fear.
4) Reflect respect and dignity towards the person. No matter what the person is saying or doing, never show contempt to that person. It is easy to say and hard to do.
5) Look for the hidden. What is this person trying to gain? What is this person trying to avoid?
6) Look for others around you who might be able to help you. If you are at work look for another co-worker or if it is an relationship talk to someone that is close to that person (remember kept what is said between you and that person).
7) Don't demand compliance. The person is angry and will have pride. The person may need to vent.
8) Saying "I understand" can make it worst so say "how can I understand you more."
9) Do not smile while you talk to them, they may think that you are mocking them. And also avoid humor and be serious.
10) Don't act defensively. It is natural to be defensive when someone is calling you out but do not defend yourself. The difficult person is not using logical and must likely feel bad for what they say in that moment.
11) Don't return anger with anger. It is natural to want your pound of flesh but don't.
12) Do not argue with the person. You will not win.
13) Keep extra room between you and that the difficult person. Use common sense when dealing with an angry person.
14) Saying "I am sorry" and "I will fix it will go a long way" to solve the issue.
15) Set limit and boundaries. I have different steps to calm down the difficult person but be also assertive if the person is crossing the line of decency.
16) Trust your instruct. There are times to keep talking and a time to leave the conversation.
17) One response does not fit all. You need to know who you are talking to.
18) Debrief. After you have dealt with the difficult person then talk to an friend that is not an gossip and will help you.
19) Discharge you stress. You need to something that will relax you. Dealing with an difficult situation is hard.
20) We us people lack wisdom and we lack common sense. When dealing with an difficult person, we need the help of the Lord to help us. Our sinful desire will make it worst but we must rely on the Holy Spirit.
Proverbs 3:1-8
My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.
but keep my commands in your heart,
for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.
Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.
fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.
Great video
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ReplyDeletehttps://blog.mindvalley.com/dealing-with-difficult-people/